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Hi Mama,
I’m sure you’re here because you’re stuck. Or confused. Or just plain lost—like I was.
I know that feeling. You’re standing in the middle of your life, looking around, wondering how you even got here. Maybe you’ve been pouring yourself into your kids, your partner, your job, your home, your to-do list… and somewhere along the way, you lost track of you. You’re trying to make decisions. You’re searching for answers. But everything feels foggy, overwhelming, and uncertain.
You’re probably asking yourself questions like:
How do I fix this?
What am I even doing?
Why do I feel this way?
Where do I even start?
You’re trying to figure out something that feels unfigureoutable.
And I want to tell you something that I wish someone had told me back when I was in your shoes:
You don’t have to have it all figured out. But you can take the next small step.
And that’s where we start.
What Does "Unfigureoutable" Even Mean?
Let’s talk about this for a second. Because “unfigureoutable” isn’t even a real word, but we know what it means, right?
It’s that feeling of:
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“I’m stuck in a situation with no clear solution.”
“I’ve tried everything, and nothing’s working.”
“Every option feels wrong.”
It’s when life throws something at you that you never planned for—or didn’t want to plan for. Maybe it’s a career change you didn’t see coming. Maybe it’s trying to parent through exhaustion and burnout. Maybe it’s a relationship that’s shifted in ways you didn’t expect. Or it’s just that quiet voice inside you whispering, “There has to be more to life than this.”
Whatever your version of “unfigureoutable” is, I want you to know:
You’re not broken.
You’re not alone.
And this is figureoutable. Even if you don’t see the path yet.
My Story: When I Felt Stuck
A couple of year ago, I hit a wall. I was a new mom, stuck in the throes of alcoholism. I was exhausted, ashamed, and overwhelmed. On the outside, I was doing all the things—working, parenting, keeping up appearances, trying to be everything to everyone. But on the inside? I was crumbling.
I knew who I wanted to be. I could see her in my mind: the present, joyful, connected mom… the woman who showed up for her family and herself. But I couldn’t figure out how to get there. No matter how hard I tried, I felt trapped in a cycle I didn’t know how to break.
Most nights, I found myself staring at the ceiling, wondering, How did I get here? And how do I get out of this feeling?
I didn’t have a grand plan. There was no big epiphany that changed everything overnight. But I did one small thing: I got curious. I started asking myself different questions. Questions like:
What if things could be different?
What’s one small thing I can do today that future me would thank me for?
And slowly—tiny step by tiny step—I started figuring out what felt “unfigureoutable.”
How to Start Figuring Out the Unfigureoutable
(Hint: It’s Simpler Than You Think)
So, how do you figure things out when they feel impossible? Here’s what worked for me, and what I share with the mamas I talk to all the time:
1. Get Quiet First
This one is hard because we live in a loud, fast, busy world. But if you’re going to figure out the next step, you have to hear yourself. And that means turning down the noise.
Try this:
Take 5-10 minutes without your phone, TV, or distractions.
Sit somewhere quiet.
Just breathe.
Ask yourself: “What do I need right now?”
You don’t have to force an answer. Just listen.
It might take a few tries to even feel comfortable with the quiet. That’s okay. Stick with it.
2. Ask Better Questions
When we’re stuck, we tend to ask ourselves the same questions over and over:
“Why can’t I do this?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why is this happening?”
But what if you asked different questions?
“What is working in my life right now?”
“What do I want more of?”
“What’s one tiny thing I could do today that might feel good?”
Better questions create better answers.
And better answers lead to better decisions.
3. Break It Down into Micro-Steps
When life feels overwhelming, it’s because we’re trying to solve the whole problem all at once. But what if you only had to take one small step today? What if all you had to do was:
Go for a 5-minute walk.
Drink a glass of water.
Text a friend and say, “Hey, can we talk?”
Write down one thing you’re grateful for.
You don’t need to figure out your whole life.
You just need one doable next step.
4. Trust That You’re More Capable Than You Feel
I know you don’t always feel strong. I didn’t either. But you’ve made it this far. You’ve navigated things before that you thought you couldn’t handle. You’ve survived long nights with sick kids, tough conversations, hard decisions. You’ve already figured out so much. This is just another thing you’ll figure out in time. You’ve got this, even if you don’t always believe it yet.
5. Talk It Out with Someone You Trust
You don’t have to do this alone. Find your person. The friend, the therapist, the mentor, the group. Tell them, “I’m stuck. Can you listen while I sort this out?” Sometimes saying things out loud makes the unfigureoutable a little clearer.
And if you don’t have that person right now? I’m here. This community is here. You’re not alone.
6. Give Yourself Permission to Change Your Mind
You’re allowed to change direction. You’re allowed to try something and decide it’s not for you. You’re allowed to evolve. If you’re stuck because you think you have to stick with a decision or a plan that doesn’t feel right anymore—guess what? You’re the boss of your life. You can rewrite the rules. Give yourself permission to pivot.
7. Celebrate the Tiny Wins
You’re not going to solve everything in one day. But did you take a deep breath today? Did you ask for help? Did you make a decision, even a small one? Celebrate that. The tiny wins add up, mama. And every little victory builds confidence for the next one.
Why Figuring Things Out Feels Hard (And What to Do About It)
Let’s be real. Sometimes figuring out the next step feels hard because:
We’re afraid of making the wrong choice.
We’re worried about what other people will think.
We’re waiting for the perfect plan.
We’re tired.
If that’s you right now?
Breathe.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to keep going.
Messy action is better than no action.
And grace beats perfection every single time.
You Are More Than Enough
Mama, I know how heavy life can feel. I know how overwhelming it is to feel stuck in something you can’t quite explain. But here’s what I want you to hold onto:
You are not alone.
You are capable.
You are allowed to take up space, ask for help, and make changes.
You are worthy of a life that feels good to you.
No matter how complicated it seems right now, it’s figureoutable.
You are figuring it out, even as you read this.
Your Next Step (Because You Don’t Have to Do This Alone)
If this resonates with you, if you’re nodding your head thinking, “This is me,” I want you to know I’m here for you.
This is what we do here in the Happy Mama Hub community. We support each other through the messy middle, through the figuring-it-out moments. We talk about the hard stuff, we celebrate the wins, and we remind each other we’re not alone.
Want more support?
Grab the self-care guide I made just for moms feeling stuck
DM me on Instagram and tell me what you’re figuring out right now
Or just take one tiny step toward the life you know is waiting for you.
You don’t have to figure out everything today. You just have to take one small step. And then another. And then another. Before you know it, you’ll look back and realize you figured out the thing that once felt so impossible. I’m cheering for you. I believe in you. Let’s figure out the unfigureoutable—together.
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